Packing Assistance
“Would you like help with the packing?”
Well, let me just check what I’m actually buying here. Hmmm. A bottle of milk. A bag of apples. Let me see – do I need help packing? Do I need help picking up a little bottle of milk and a small bag of apples, and placing them in a carrier bag without doing myself or the produce any serious injury. Do I look fucking stupid? Do I really look like the type of person who needs help putting a bottle of fucking milk and a bag of sodding fun sized(more on that later) apples in a sodding bag? For fuck’s sake! I had my wife with me too! Obviously we look like total window-licking gormless twats who are unable to wrestle a vicious bottle of milk or savage bag of apples into a fucking bag!
What type of goddamn person can look at those two items, then look at the two people buying them, and still believe that “would you like help with the packing” was a legitimate fucking question?
I mean, what am I supposed to say? “Sure, I can manage the milk if you hold the bag open, but my wife might need a hand with the apples?” For fuck’s sake! How does that person manage to get dressed in the morning?
And as for fun sized – what the fuck? Apples taste nice. They’re yummy. They’re not fun though. I daresay kinky lovemaking with the partner of your choice in an interesting environment is fun. Video games are fun. Go-karting is fun, for fuck’s sake. Apples are not fun. Apples are food.
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