Satellite TV
Isn’t Sky Digital great? Isn’t it though. It’s such a good idea! In the days of terrestrial only TV, things were pretty clear cut. You paid the license fee and you got BBC1 and 2, both funded by the license, which showed no advertisements whatsoever, and you also had ITV and Channel 4 which showed adverts every 15 minutes or so.
But not with Sky – oh no. First of all, you pay to view it. Then they advertise fuck out of you every 8 bloody minutes. Not only that, but they CRANK the volume of the adverts so you have to leap out of your chair and fumble for the remote to turn it down. What’s more, they have pay-per-view events where you have to pay a premium and they STILL advertise at you! It’s sickening. So, basically, you subscribe to 95 channels of SHITE just so they can show adverts.
Now, is it just me or is there something fundamentally wrong with that? If the television channels are raking it in from advertising (and given that 6 minutes out of every ten is advertising, they must be!) why the fuck do they need to charge me for the privilege of watching it, eh?
And the drivel they show! When Badgers Attack! When kitchen appliances run Amok! World’s most dangerous Aquarium Scenery! Get a fucking grip! And what about all this “Temptation Island” bollocks? Who thought that one up? “Hey, I know! Why don’t we get lots of young couples, seperate them and seduce them so we can show the video footage to their grief stricken partners!” I mean, for fuck’s sake! How sick is that? It’s like Jeremy Bastardface Beadle, isn’t it? Bloke comes home to find his decapitated wife hanging gutted in the kitchen – but it’s OK! Cos it was only a FUCKING JOKE! Bastards!
One thing guaranteed to have me spitting my dummy, at the moment, is the new Soap the BBC are showing. “River City” – it’s a kind of Haggis-eating Eastenders. But with one minor differance. They’ve taken the cast of Prisioner: Cell Block H, kept them in a leper colony until they’ve all become hideously deformed, and then taught them to speak Shortbread-tin Scots. Jesus! What a bunch of gruesome bastards! I very nearly boaked on my mealy pudding supper when it came on last night. I would normally have switched off before it started but I was too fucking depressed to move after watching Eastenders.
Here’s what happened: Ok, so Trevor the mad scots wife beater has been fucking with Sam Mitchell’s mind and chucked her. He’s also be fucking with Little Mo’s mind and got little Mo and Billy Mitchell fighting about it. Sharon has asked Tom to marry her but Tom – the big strapping firefighter – doesn’t want to because he has a FUCKING BRAIN TUMOUR all of a sudden! So, instead of telling Shazzer that he’s terminally ill he decides to make things easier for her by laughing in her face and giving her the elbow. I mean for fuck’s sake! As if life wasn’t grim enough as it is!
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